Thursday, May 26, 2011

I'm a Baltimoron and Proud Of It

While at dinner with my brother and his fiancee (who is from New England, but raised by parents who wanted their children to speak with a neutral accent), we discussed my (ever so slight) Baltimoron accent.  Before I continue, I must stress that we are not called Baltimorians, but rather Baltimorons.  Yes, I get it, and yes that's why I prefer it.

Anyways, we went down the list of words that I say to see how my dear brother pronounces them.  I discovered after attending last week's bridal shower with his fiancee's family that I apparently have a thick accent and my dear brother has none.  I simply responded that he chooses to deny his heritage.

The conversation went as such:

Me: How do you say ... H20?
Brother: Water.  How do you say it?
Me: Wooder.  How do you say the body of water?
Brother: What?
Me: Ya know, Atlantic (blank), Pacific (blank)
Brother: Oh, ocean.  How do you say it?
Me: Oohhshan.
Brother: Seriously?  Go on.
Me: Ok, how do you say the crustacians we eat?
Brother: Uhh crabs.
Me: Craaahbs.
Brother: Oh shit, please tell me you don't call people 'hon'
Me: Uhh about that ...
Future Sister: Ohh! You say 'no' weird too!
Me: Nooee ... damn.  Ok, what about the name of the city I used to live in?
Brother: BalTimore?
Me: Seriously?!  You pronounce the T?  Get the hell out of here.
Brother: Ok, more like Baltimore.
Me: Balmore?  I'd even accent BalDmore, but the T?  That's out of line.
Brother: So I'm assuming you call the state "Merrland"
Me: You bet your britches.  And you would too if you didn't think you were better n' me.

After reviewing the typical Marylander/Baltimoron words, my brother offered a theory:

Brother: You say those things because you went to public school
(in case you can't tell, he went to private)

Conclusion?  Baltimorons are awesome.  And my brother is a snob who denies his heritage.  Just wait til he has kids and Aunty Cat Lady gets aholda dem.  My little Baltimorons ... I can see it now.

Peace out, Hons.

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