Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Non-Drowsy My Ass

Allegra, you are NOT non-drowsy.  Yes, I admit, I am a little bitch on medication.  Yes, I slept for 2 days straight on one Benedryl in college.  Yes, I get drugged up from two Advil.  But non-drowsy shouldn't mean "gets me effed up for 18 hours straight"

Just sayin'

Monday, April 2, 2012

Sometimes I Just Wanna Jam

... and by sometimes, I mean all the time.  And by jam, I mean listen/dance to terrible, beautiful, classic 90's rap/R&B music.  What of it?

I've always been known to play some terrific (read: annoying) jams at my bar on the weekends in order to entertain everyone (read: myself).  However, the last two weekends have really impressed even my (tacky) self.  Some hit jams include:
  • Back Dat Azz Up (including quite the booty pop on the side of the bar where only about half my customers could see)
  • Any and all Whitney Houston (duh)
  • And and all Jock Jams songs (did you know that it wasn't spelled Jock JamZ and it's actually an S?  S for stupid.  All kewl stuff should end with a Z)
  • Spice Up Your Life
  • Step in the Name of Love
  • Juicy and other Biggie jamz
  • The Whisper Song (which I forgot was quite vulgar and might have made 4 customers leave upon hearing the chorus.  Whooops)

As you can see, I have impeccable taste.  The phrase "you're too YOUNG for this jam!!" was uttered from my mouth many, many times.  And yes, I was the only sober person in the joint.  Your point?


Friday, March 30, 2012


Happy Friday, ya'll.

Today, before going over my list of things that fill my heart up, I'd like to reach out to my readers for a little personal prayer request ... my sorority sister was in a terrible car accident last week and needs all the prayers, good vibes, and positive thoughts she can get.  She is a feisty, sassy fighter, but prayers are appreciated.  I've been praying a lot for Jess, her doctor/nurses, and her family and friends who have been there for her throughout this difficult process.

Here's what fills my heart up this week:
  • Although I wish that Jess never had to go through this hard time, it has shown my sisters and me what an amazing blessing out sisterhood is ... ASA, I love you girls!
  • My kitty boys, of course
  • Had a little mini dinner party last night with some of my besties ... my belly was SO full and had a great time
  • Busy night at the bar tomorrow night, which hopefully means $$!
Have a great weekend, ya'll.  Keep those prayers/good thoughts coming for Jess!


Monday, March 26, 2012

Just a Little Note From Me to You

I NEED THIS KITTY!!!!!!!  Look at how handsome and fat he is!!! 

I want to cuddle on his tummy and fall asleep on it like a pillow. 

I want to hold him awkwardly like the lady in the video. 

I want to use him as a comparison to Carlton to prove that Carl really isn't "that" fat. 

I want to feed him with food and love and see how big he can get. 

I want to love him him all day and all night. 


Ok, CatLady, breathe.  And book a flight to Oregon today to rescue that ball of fat and fur.

Friday, March 23, 2012


Good morning kittens and happy Friday!

Here's what fills my heart up today:
  • Mustacho is currently passed the eff out on my lap (correction: I am cradling him like a baby and he is passed the eff out) ... it is adorable.
  • Only wo calls today, which means I can workout AND go visit the psychic before work #2
  • Had a great night last night ... went to dinner with Mr. and Mrs. Lauren C and Lizzy G; got a few drinks; snack attacked the night away later while watching Jersey Shore.  Amazing.
  • No plans this weekend (other than work) and the couch-mate is out of town for the weekend, so I plan to catch up on many many trash tv shows (including but not limited to about 15 episodes of Gilmore Girls)
  • Had a successful trip up north for some bizznass meetings.  Found out where I stand with my position, opportunities for growth, etc.  All in all pretty rewarding, but we'll see come May 15 when I'm up for my raise/bonus!
  • This weather is unbelievable--I love it so much!
Have a good weekend kitty cats!

Tuesday, March 20, 2012


Happy Birthday to my amazing, handsome, sweet, loving, fantastic, funny, smart, terrific kitty babies Mustacho and Carlton Banks!  Ugh I can't believe they're THREE already!!  Time flies when you're in love ...

I remember when they were just itty bitty babies.  They were just too stinkin cute!  Now I only occasionally see a little glimmer of baby in their faces, which kind of breaks my heart a little.  However, they are now very handsome adults, and I feel exceptionally blessed to have them in my life.

Carlton ... and no that
isn't a wiener, it's his tail.

Unfortunately, I don't get to spend my boy's birthday at home with them as I'd like.  I'm up in the corp office actually getting some work done.  Oh the life of a single mother!

Anyways, there's my little shout-out to the loves of my life.  Happy Birthday, Moosey and Cal!

XOXO, Cat Lady

Monday, March 19, 2012

Home Sweet Dream Home

Ya'll, I am super tired of renting.  I am 25 years old and have been a renter for only 4 years but have lived in 4 homes (my current apartment is a record-breaker--I have been here well over a year).  Unfortunately, I have a decent amount of credit card debt, no savings, student loans, and a car payment.  Not exactly the ideal candidate for a home loan.  However, I am in the process of paying down my cards and getting some savings together (my tips from the bar every weekend are now going towards a future down payment)

My "dream" house requirements are pretty simple:
  • At least 3 bedrooms
  • 2 bathrooms preferable, but I'd deal with 1
  • Lots of natural light
  • Separate dining room
  • Decently upgraded kitchen
  • Closet/storage space
  • Location, location, location!  There's a 15 or so mile radius that I'm looking into.  My current town is likely where I'll do most of my hunting, but there's an adorable little small town area that I love too
  • No ghosts ... ok, so yes, this is ridiculous.  Yes, I have researched the laws of what a real estate agent must tell you re: dead bodies, etc.  And yes, this is a legit fear of mine.  What would happen if you bought a house, went to sleep for the first night, and then whamo! A ghost comes out.  Holy gracious, I'd flip the eff out!
A few other things I'd really like:
  • Good outdoor space (deck, patio, room for a grill at least!)
  • Attached garage ... ok, so by now if you're reading this blog you likely know that I am a crazy cat lady ... but my legit reason for wanting an attached garage (ya know, other than for snowy/rainy weather, extra storage, etc) is that I am petrified of the boys trying to sneak outside when I open the door.  They've only ever lived in apartments and make it a habit to attempt to run out in the hallway any chance they get.  All the places I'm looking at are on a main-ish road and I'm worried they'd get hurt or lost or whatever.  Ok, crazy cat lady rant over.
  • Finished basement ... or at least a basement that I can be in without being totally creeped out
Anyways, future home is pretty far off in the future ... I'm thinking I should be good to go in about a year and a half.  But a girl can always dream, right?!

Man, I'm Popular!

Ok, please note that the title of this blog is said with much sarcasm ... but surriously, I felt pretty darn popular this weekend!!

I went to go visit a friend's new townhouse (still in construction, but we got to check out what it will look like by piecing together two model homes and where it'll be built) in Eldersburg (a gorgeous, scenic 35 minute drive or so away from me).  After checking out the townhouse stuff, I went to lunch with the girls--and was asked to be a bridesmaid for one girl's wedding next March!  My buddy, Squash, was there as well, and I was already asked to be her bridesmaid for her wedding in October.  Popular much?

We got to chatting about wedding details for both weddings (of course, as it is my obsession) ... I told the girls that I basically have my wedding all planned out, I just need to insert a groom.  So, grooms, come a knockin on my door!  I'm popular!

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

I'm Baaaack

Whooops, I did it again!  I'm back, and I'll attempt to post more regular entries.  Cuz ya know, I have like 2 fans and you two need to know about my life (when we aren't texting, talking, and/or G-chatting about it).

Let's see, what has been going on since I last gabbed?  Hmm ... well, I have a new roommate.  Work has been pretty slow.  And I joined a new gym.  Yes, yes, I know I was just waiting for my last membership to end after a year even though I only went 5 or so times in total.  This one is different!  I pay a lot less, no contracts, and I have a roommate to force me out of my sweats and into the gym. 

What else?  Hmm ... no psychic updates.  However, she did say that I'll be meeting "the one" in April or May.  Thus the gym membership.  Cuz ya know, I figure my soulmate doesn't like em as chunk as I am.  But my soulmate will get used to it ... once I'm comfortable with him or I get bored of hitting the gym.  Whichever happens first.

Kitty boys are wonderful as always.  The new old roommate (we lived together for 2 years, now she's crashing on my couch for a few months) was living with me when we got the cats as bebes but hadn't seen them in 15 months while she was abroad teaching English.  The second she opened the door to greet them, they both instantly knew who she was.  Cutest thing ever.  Carlton is still obsessed with her and demands constant attention.  I was worried that my boys wouldn't want to sleep with me with her here (sleeping under their favorite blanket), but both of them still know who their mama is.  Good thing!

In other news, this dick is making my people (Catholics, Marylanders) look terrible.  God loves gays, he created em.  Idiot priest.  I'm so sad for this woman and am so glad that this has become a big deal in the media.  I know that the Catholic church is lacking those willing and able to become priests, but that sucker should get banished. 

Rant over!  In conclusion to my very random, very late post, please check out and donate to this very worthy cause.  My great great grandlil in my sorority (sorry for those non-Greeks, I'm sure that makes no sense) is shaving her head (2 months before walking the stage for graduation!) for St. Baldrick's Foundation, a charity supporting childhood cancer research.  I am beyond proud and humbled by Parna's willingness to shave her head, and to get the message out.  Check it out!


Friday, February 17, 2012


Happy Friday, kittens!

Man, I am getting old.  I went out last night with a girlfriend and didn't get home til around 12.  Got home, cuddled on my kitties, and passed out ... then 6:40am came along and two misters decided it was time for me to wake up.  Hello, boys, it is way too early AND Mama is a little hungover.  Oh the joys of motherhood.

Here are a few things that I'm thankful for today:
  • Yesterday was beyond stressful/tiring at work (lots of grueling work + bad weather = yuck), so I am very thankful that today is not yesterday
  • Had a delish dinner last night with my girl AC ... and leftovers for lunch today!
  • Kitten cats, even though they were jerks for waking me up too early
  • Presidents Day holiday on Monday ... thanks, presidents!  I can't wait to sleep in and be lazy (shocking, I know)
  • I get to see my bestie from preschool, Hillwee, this weekend
  • My bro and sister-in-law are coming to town to have dinner with my parents on Saturday, and I hopefully get to see them at some point this weekend
  • My meditation has been coming along really well.  It's annoying at times to have to remember to do it nightly, but it is a really good way of focusing on the positive and asking for some guidance on releasing the negative
Have a great weekend, ya'll!

Sunday, February 12, 2012

RIP Whitney

I'm not even going to lie ... finding out about the tragic death of my ultimate favorite 80's singer, Whitney Houson, was devastating.  I will never forget how I found out ... I was working at the bar last night, preparing for what ended up being the busiest night of my bartending life.  Someone mentioned the name Whitney Houston (which, of course, cued me to give my perfected impression of Whitney shouting "BOBBAYYY" (circa 2005: Being Bobby Brown).  Then I heard that this was not typical beautiful, wonderful, exciting Whitney news ... Whitney, my beautiful songstress, had passed away.  I immediately felt terrible for speaking ill of the deceased (however, my impersonation of "BOBBAYYY" is spot on and will never cease to amuse me) ... too soon, self, too soon.

As I said, the bar was exceptionally busy, which was a welcomed distraction.  However, as soon as I found out the crushing news, I threw some money at a customer, and asked her to play some Whitney hits.  Unfortunately for my customers, I frequently play Whitney hits and delight the masses with my beautiful voice.  And by frequently, I mean nearly every night that I work.  And by my beautiful voice, I mean my beautiful voice.  I refuse to admit that I don't sound exactly like Whitney.

I've never seen the bar so swamped before.  The customers, while rough and tumble looking (it was an after-party for a local motorcycle show), were amazing and super fun.  And even more important, they were pretty good tippers.

Last night, I learned 3 major things:
  1. Women are disgusting.  Utterly disgusting.  The ladies room at the bar literally made me dry heave when I attempted to clean the disgusting, disgusting mess (sorry for the visual, but I feel as though others should suffer along with me)
  2. Tattoos on men will always reve my engine a little.  Young skinny little drunk scuzballs with tats everywhere ... thank you for giving me a nice visual while I was running around like chicken with her head cut off.  Yum.
  3. Not everyone has the same passion that I feel for Whitney.  But I already knew this due to the moans and groans I would hear after playing a setlist of Whitney during an average work night.  But drunk people can be pretty cruel about her, and come on folks, someone died here.  And honestly, not just someone ... WHITNEY freaking HOUSTON!!  Ugh, my heart.
I finally got home around 3am (after the disgusting, disgusting cleaning).  After I eased my aching old body into bed, I flipped on the tv and what do I come across?  Non-stop Whitney music videos on VH1.  Sure, I was exhausted from serving hundreds of people solo at the bar and being on my feet for 10+ hours, but I had to mourn the only way I know how ... by singing Whitney at the top of my lungs at 4am.  Sorry, neighbors, it's part of the grieving process and I am entitled to it.

Thankfully, today I have no major plans, as I need to grieve, stuff my face, and watch the classic film Waiting to Exhale.  Whitney, in all seriousness, you were a beautiful, talented, powerful woman who was obviously in a lot of emotional pain.  I hope that you are in a better place and can sing with the angels.  While you do that, I will sing like an angel down here and torture the masses.

RIP Whitney Houston :(

Friday, February 10, 2012


Happy Friday, kittens!  Just a few notes about what fills my heart up today:
  • Mustacho and Carlton, the two most wonderful kitcats in the world.
  • The Skype date I had last night with one of my fav sorority sisters ... hilarious, per usual.
  • Tomorrow night at the bar should be super busy ... which (hopefully) equals lots of tip $$ in my pocket.
  • I've been keeping up with my daily meditation (per my psychic ... yes, I'm turning into one of those people), and while tedious at times, it really has focused me on prayer which I was a huge slacker on for quite some time.
  • I sent away for a lot of our old home movies to be transferred into DVDs ... finally got them back last week and they are so funny and cute.  Lots of them are of my grandfather, and I am so thankful that we were able to capture so many memories with him--acting exactly as I remembered when we were kids, so funny and charming.  And, most importantly, my favorite video ever of my brother when he was in preschool was found (after years of teasing him, the VHS mysteriously was "lost" but I discovered one with the label peeled off and whammo, there it is!).  Can't wait to share with my brother and sister-in-law!
Have a T-riffic weekend!

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Mmm ... Mustachos

Do my friends know me, or do they know me?!
Mustacho wine opener + glass
= amazing.
 After a long-ish day, I decided to pop open a bottle of my favorite white wine.  Possibly the most tragic part of the fight I had with a boy recently was the fact that I left my wine opener over there.  Never fear, I remembered that I had an amazing mustacho wine opener that my buddies Squash and Pumpkin gave me for Christmas.  Combined with one of my gorgeous mustacho wine glasses (from Mr. and Mrs. Lauren C), and I had myself a mini party! 

Carlton has mustacho

Mustacho's double

Catlady (and Carlton & Mustacho)

Found the Fart Scene

Yes, I am 25 going on 5.  And yes, I think this is hilarious.  If you don't, you need to seriously re-evaluate life.


Friday, January 27, 2012


Happy Friday, ya'll!

Before I go into what I'm thankful for today, I'd like to describe my dinner from last evening ... I was having a bit of a rough day at work and some stuff going on in mah personal life, so I decided that a cocktail would do me good.  The only wine I had in the house had been sitting on my counter (opened) for weeks.  I am stupid enough to give that baby a little slug and immediately regretted that decision.  Why oh why can't I just open a bottle of wine and drink the entire thing so that it doesn't go bad?!  (answer, you have self, and that led to the second part of this story)

Anyways, still in search of something refreshing, I took a peak into the ol fridge.  Oh look self, Natty Boh!  The kind of shitty Baltimore beers!  I cracked one of those suckers open, threw some of my prized few remaining crab meltaways (a time-honored Maryland appe-teaser involving a lot of cheese, Old Bay seasoning, worsheshire sauce, and jumbo lump crabmeat atop an English muffin quarter and broiled to melt said cheese) into the toaster oven, and waited for a lovely evening of relaxation.

Beer and crab meltaways =
tasty MD treat

Close-up of crab meltaway ... yum.

So, as I sat down to enjoy my treats, I noticed that the beer was pretty gross.  No shocker there: a) it's Natty Boh, which is basically like fermented rain water mixed with gross chemicals, and b) I hate beer.  A lot.  No worries, chug chug chug.  Ok, so this beer was really tasting funky.  Maybe it's expired?  Oh look at that, it is.  By over a full month.  Classy.

Cue to later in the evening, and why a bottle of wine was involved in my not-so-distant past.  I may or may not have had a few cocktails and then a bottle of wine at a boy's house on Sunday (after our horrible horrible loss ... still love you, Ravens) and may or may not have gotten into a huge fight with said boy.  Details schmetails.  He had it coming, but I said some really awful things that I felt pretty rotten about.  So, I sucked it up and sent an apology text to him.  Cuz ya know, that's the most endearing and heart felt way of saying "sorry I likely made you, a grown ass man, cry yourself to sleep"

Conclusion?  The crab meltaways def made me feel better about life.  The expired beer, however, did not.  I need to purchase some wine, ASAP.

Here's what fills my heart up today:
  • Crab meltaways.  Seriously good.
  • My dad is going to be moving my old couch out of here this weekend to donate (finally!  it's been since NOVEMBER that I've been trying to get him to do it!) so I can finally move stuff the other couches around the living room and make it less jam-packed
  • Kitty boys, of course
  • Pinterest is such a welcomed distraction ... I love it way too much
My girl Mizz J started a new blog, so go check her out and please don't realize too quickly that she's wayyyyy more cool and funny than I am (you'll realize it eventually, but at least pretend that I'm still cool and funny)

Have a good weekend, kittens!

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Farts = funny

Did anyone else see Real Housewives of Beverly Hills last night?  The fart scene cracked me up a little too much.  I'm in desperate need of finding the clip online so that I can laugh any ol time I want to.  Farts = funny.  Yes, I am mature.

Friday, January 20, 2012


Good morning, kitty cats!

Sorry no blog lately, I've been pretty busy as of late.  I'll try to quickly fill ya in before I do the usual schpheel.

First of all, I am in the process of working with a psychic to cleanse my ora and whatnot.  I'm super excited about the process and have a big meeting with her on Monday.  It's been a really interesting experience and I'm so excited to see what the results are.  Basically I've had to do some meditation every night with crystals ... which has been more difficult than I thought it would be!  10 minutes of focused meditation for a gal with ADD is quite the challenge.

Work and life have pretty much been same ol same ol.  I was sick with some gross virus for about 2 weeks, which kinda wore me down.  Thankfully I'm feeling much better now.

Here's what fills my heart up today:
  • My beautiful, wonderful Ravens are playing those nasty Pats this weekend.  I'm pretty nervous about this game, as my company is based in Boston and I am going to lose some friendships/solid working relationships if we lose!
  • Kitty boys, as always, are wonderful and lovely
  • I do believe I'll be seeing an old friend, AC, this weekend ... looking forward to catching up with her and exposing her to my beautiful bar for the first time
  • Finally getting a haircut tomorrow ... it's been a long time coming (since May, whoops) and it's getting a little too long, even more for me!
Sending good vibes, prayers, and love to my bestie, Mrs. Lauren C, who has been going through a hard time.  Love you!

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Welcome, 2012

Good morning, kittens ... and happy 2012!

I had a deliciously lazy many days off of work and I must say it is both a bit painful and and a bit of a relief ... my back could use the break from laying on the couch all day and watching hours of Intervention, Oddities (my new obsession), and other similarly addictive shows.

Here's to a new year with lots of love, opportunities, and laughs.  Wish me luck with work today!