Thursday, June 30, 2011

Sex Ed

"I love sexual health!!!!" is a phrase that has slipped through my mouth on more than one occasion.

And yes, I really, truly do love sexual health.  A healthy no-no zone is a happy no-no zone, I always say.  Ok, I have never said that.  But I'm going to start, damnit!

Bitch slap to every last one of ya
Shows like 16 and Preggo and Grey's Anatomy, my former nursing textbooks, and listening to my old roommate talk about her tales working at Planned Parenthood have taught me that sexual health is indeed a topic that dumbasses don't understand.  It's my life mission to travel the country and personally slap all of the 16 and Preggo girls in the mouth.  It's 2011, people!  Sexual health awareness is all around! 

Being that I genuinely care about a lot of my customers at the bar, I always try to remind them to wrap it up after a night of drinking and seducing.  I am tempted to purchase a big ol Sam's Club quantity of condoms and start handing them out with people's checks at the end of the night.  Hilarious for me, and aiding in sexual health for them ... win-win, I'd say.

There are several "talks" that I'd like to have with my customers at the WW in order to a) spare the world another generation of WW customers, and b) spare The Valley (where the WW is located) of any possible STI outbreaks.

So, in honor of both the whores on 16 and Preggo and the horndogs that I love at the bar, I would like to introduce a Sex Ed series to discuss some sexual health topics (and stories that correspond).

I wonder how many babies were conceived on the property of my bar ... the world may never know.

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