Tuesday, June 28, 2011

One Last Food Forever

What would you eat if you could only have one food for all of eternity?

This thought has plagued my little noggin for quite some time.  A friend of mine, Hillwee, has made her decision long ago.  She claims that if someone told her today that she can only eat one food for the rest of her life, she'd choose sandwiches, and be ecstatic.

However, she is twisting the rules, because she can list off a lot of different types of sandwiches (including pizza sandwich, ice cream sandwich, etc) that aren't exactly sandwiches.  If she really wanted to follow the rules, she'd have to stick with one type of sandwich.  In my case, that would be a tuna sandwich on toasted rye with Old Bay, a little sugar, low-fat mayo, and chopped celery mixed in.

So, maybe we need to make it one category of foods forever and always.  I am between ice cream and cereal.  Both food items I adore more than I can say.  I eat cereal every morning for breakfast (my current favorites are Honey Nut Cheerios and Reese's Puffs, but when I'm feeling healthy I also love Special K); I try not to eat ice cream every night (try ... and fail).  But again, that's twisting the "one food forever" rule, so I'd have to consider one sole food that I really and truly love.

I'd say of the 5 basic tastes (salty, sweet, bitter, sour, and savory), sweet is the most important to me.  Next in line is savory, followed by salty.  I'm not a fan of bitter or sour.  Ok, so my ideal one food forever and always would have to be sweet, and has the option of being savory and salty as well.

Mashed potatoes, another favorite meal, can be savory and salty.  But where's the sweet?!  I need sweet in my life or I go NUTSO! 

When it all boils down, though, I'll have to go with cereal as my one last category of food, as there are so many types out there ... I'd say there's a cereal to meet every taste need (or at least the important ones to me).


Now, to the untrained taste buds, one may not consider Reese's Puffs cereal to be savory, but that is complete bullshit.  I savor every last morsel of this breakfast delight.

Frosted Flakes ... indeed, they are grrrreat!  And so sweet that you'll have to put your dentist on speed dial.  But that's beside the point.

Depending upon the type, granola can be a little salty, a little sweet, a lotta delish.

In conclusion, I wouldn't enjoy it if someone told me that I could only have one single food for the rest of my life, and honestly, I wouldn't even enjoy it if they said I could only have one category.  We have 5 main tastes for a reason, people, and it is my goal to obtain perfection in each category, and eat the crap out of the food that is perfect for each.  And that, ladies in gents, is exactly why I do not have a pool membership this summer.  My fat gut and I thank you for your time.

Cat Lady

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