Requirements

At the moment, I am none too pleased with the lamer of the two sexes, so I've decided to create a little list o requirements for my next victim:

• Smokers need not apply
• Must be over 6 feet tall ... taller preferred.  Other measurements are also required, but I'll refrain from putting that in here.
• No gingers allowed ... unless he looks like this:
• Must be down to talk about bodily functions (frequently, freely, and in full detail)
• Must have all of the following: all of his teeth (or at least the ones that I can notice), a job, a car, a home/apartment/condo (roommates are allowed, but parents do not count), a high school and college degree, and a bank account (with a positive balance)
• Must be able to be nice to my kittyboys, but as readers may remember ... I require that he must love cats (less than me)
• Social drinkers only (and that is by my standards, not the typical college fraternity boy ... ie: casual drinking with dinner and occasionally on the weekends)
• For my friends Mr. and Mrs. Lauren C: my future victim cannot own a turtleneck (and/or wear it at parties ...)
• Hairy chest mmmm (I'm serious)

There are plenty of other requirements out there, but these are the basics.  Any other suggestions?  Know anyone who fulfills these requirements?  Send me his digits!