Thursday, April 28, 2011

They're Called Mustachos, Not Mustaches

Sorry for not writing as of late, kittens.  I've had a pretty rough week and haven't been much in the mood for entertaining the masses.

That being said, in order to make up for lost time and to cheer my own self up, I've decided to write a post about my very favorite thing in the entire world: mustachos. 

Yes, mustachos.  Not mustaches, and not my kitty baby Mustacho (although he and his brother are indeed my very favorite beings in the entire world).  I have always been intrigued by mustaches, and have been calling them mustachos as long as I can remember.  Perhaps it's because I can't grow a mustacho myself (thank goodness), or perhaps it's because there are so very many types of mustachos to be grown.  Either way, mustachos (and Mustachos) are the shit.

My mustacho obsession started long ago, but I didn't really place a finger on the oddities of my obsession until I met the wonderful gem that is my kitty baby, Mustacho.  The mustacho on Mustacho is so beautiful and perfect.  Yes, it may look a little Hitler-esque, but I ignore that and just focus on the beauty.  And no, I do not like Hitler, I just love his mustacho.

Two side notes about Mustacho's mustacho: a) my roommate at the time, Lizzy G and I were told that no one wanted Mustacho because of his mustacho (which of course made me want him more ... and joke's on those suckers cuz Mustacho is the sweetest baby ever), and b) Lizzy G and I lived in a really lovely area last year that happened to have a synagogue across the street and was heavily populated with some neighbors who happened to be Jewish.  We had to give the leasing office a picture of the cats upon moving in, just in case something happened to them or whatever.  I searched long and wide to find a picture of Mustacho minus the 'stache, cuz I didn't want to offend my new neighbors.  Took awhile, but I think this is the one I finally shared with them:
Carlton and Mustacho's hidden mustacho
Just to clarify, I am exceptionally proud of Mustacho's mustacho and make a point to attempt to get a good image of this beauty feature in most pictures of him. 

After adopting my babies, my obsession for mustachoes grew exponentially.  Friends started sending me mustacho pictures, articles, stories, etc.  It's like the possum trend, but with something I actually like!  I purchased this really cool tshirt with a lot of different mustachos all over it, but stopped wearing it cuz ppl used to point to my boobies too much when looking at it.  No thanks.

My favorite mustacho-related present was from my customers and good friends, Pumpkin and Squash (previously referenced in several posts).  Apparently those little toy machines in the grocery store now have MUSTACHOS!!!  I have received several types of mustachos from Pumpkin and Squash, including a really gross blonde handlebar mustacho and a little black one that looks like Mustacho.  These adhesive mustachos are hilarious for my entertainment and really creepy for those who don't get why their bartender is wearing a mustacho. I wish I had a pic to share.  However, I do have this little gem ... yes, that is my hair forming a mustacho, and a straw forming a monocle (another obsesssion of mine).

Mrs. Lauren C and I decided to go to one of those paint your own pottery joints a few weeks ago.  I was in desperate need of a bigger coffee mug to hold more caffeine in the morning.  I decided that it would be a grand idea to paint mustachos all over my mug.  Excited at the prospects of a bigger mug covered in mustachos, I did some research as to how I wanted to paint my prized mug.  What a terrific way to wake up in the morning!  Extra caffeine AND mustachos?!  Sign me up.

As Miss Lauren C and I sat down and got to work, I realized one small issue that had not come to mind previously: I have absolutely no artistic ability.  None.  This is the girl who, during philanthropy craft nights for her sorority, was either banned from creating stuff, or told flat out that her crafts would have to be thrown out.  How the heck was I supposed to create a beautiful mustacho mug with a lack of artistic ability?!

I surged ahead, and after attempting my first mustacho, I realized that this ugly piece of "art" would have to be chalked up as yet another craft attempt failed.  However, it is still substantially larger than some of my mugs, so that's always a good thing.  Here are a few pics of the mustachos.  The red "handlebar" mustacho is probably my favorite, because it looks absolutely nothing like a mustacho.  The red smileyface looking blob is also entertaining.  Yet another reason why gingers suck. 

The last final touch to this hideous piece of crap had to be added ... why not add the cherry to the top of this beautiful little sundae?  What can I say?  I LOVE MUSTACHOS!!!

Presents will be accepted by any blog fans who would like to purchase (simply google "mustache shirt" and you'll be flooded with beautiful ideas).  My birthday happens to be in June.

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