Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Items That Annoy Me

  • Clear bra straps.  You may think that I can't see them because they're clear, but heads up (and this may blow you away): I can see them.  And they're trashy.
  • People taking and posting pictures of their car's mileage milestones.  Ex: 11111, 123456, 100000, etc.  Annoying.  And guess what? I don't care.
  • Makeup "artists," hair dressers, etc. who expect to do my makeup/hair but they look a hot mess themselves
  • Drivers who realize that they're in the wrong lane or driving on the wrong side of the road and have the "what of it?!" face.  You made a mistake (a dangerous one at that), and you realized it, so just go ahead and panic, make a scene, and fix it like the rest of us
  • Picking your nose in public with a tissue.  Just because a very thin layer of tissue is between your finger and your snot, doesn't mean I'm not judging you.
  • Comb-overs when you only have 3 pieces of hair (a la Donald Trump).  We all know you are lacking in the hair department.  Get over it and fix yourself.
  • People who walk around holding their little doggies (in arms or purses) ... let the poor little shits walk, please.  A side note about that: women who insist that it's cool to go shopping in malls with one of their little doggies.  We are not in Cali, folks, and we are certainly not trendy enough to do this.  Leave your damn dog home and get out of Nordstrom.
  • You're.  Your.  To.  Two.  Too.  They're.  Their.  There.  Get it right.
  • Customers at my bar who sit down and say they want a beer.  Well, how very convenient, we're in a bar.  We happen to have beer here.  That would be like if I went to a grocery store and told one of the employees "I would like some food"
  • Quoting Charlie Sheen.  Come up with your own lines, folks.  Oh and PS, you're quoting a raging lunatic as if it's something intelligent and meaningful.  So what does that say about you?

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