Favorite TV Shows Part II

F (continued)~
The Flintstones!  Ugh my favorite show everrrr!  How could I forget this amazing show?  My favorite episodes are the "movies" for Christmas, but the show is also the shiz.
Fresh Prince of Bel Air: Obviously I love this show ... I named my cat after one of the characters.  It's just a funny, funny show and I have loved it since I was a little kid (and yes, I still watch it)

G~
Grey's Anatomy: Already talked about it, but I still like it.
Gilmore Girls: I'm not ashamed to admit that I really love this show.  It's completely stupid and can get a little annoying with the constant talka talka talka talka but it's still entertaining.  I watch it at 5 on Fox Family every day.  Don't judge.
The Golden Girls: Betty White has always been one of my favorite actresses, but the rest of the gals are awesome too.  I have watched this show since I was in kindergarten (perhaps a little too young to be watching that whore Blanche) and my friends in school used to quiz me by showing 5 seconds of an episode and having me explain the whole episode in detail.  Pathetic?  No, just one of my many hidden talents.

H~
Home Improvement: Yes, I secretly had a crush on Tim the Toolman Taylor when I was a kid.  JTT grossed me out cuz he was like a foot tall.

I~
I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant: I don't necessarily love this show, it actually freaks me out. However, I do love the idiots on the show that show all the signs of pregnancy and STILL have to 'pee it out' in the toilet and are just so shocked that they're having a child.  Hilarious.  Please view this lovely clip to better understand. 
I Love New York: Now this was classic.  Just pure classic.  New York was (and likely still is) my favorite hotmess ever.  I wish I could just watch her daily life.  Or really, I wish that her daily life was a reality dating show and I could watch that on the daily.

J~
Jersey Shore: Duh!  Jersey Shore (seasons 1 and 3; 2 kinda sucked but obviously I still watched and enjoyed) is just freaking hilarious.  Those characters are amazing and I love analyzing them.  I'm not going to go into detail with my obsession, because that'll just be annoying, but I'd like to point out that the Situation wasn't getting a lot of ladies this season ... does anyone else think he had an STI?
Jerseylicious: I'm gonna leave it to my buddy Jessie Green at And I Can't Help But Wonder ... to describe this show, because her passion may have perhaps surpassed mine (if only for this one show)
Joan & Melissa: Joan Knows Best: A new-ish show on WE, about Joan Rivers and her family.  That lady is sassy and wonderful, if not a little frail looking, which is a bit concerning.  I love Joan Rivers.

K~
Keeping Up with the Kardashians: Yes, I'll admit it, I love this family.  They're a bunch of crazies, but it's very entertaining.  I hate Kim and her baby voice (actually, I hate all of the baby voices), but Rob is a good lookin fella, and they all have entertaining antics.  Sure, their family dynamics are likely all for the camera, but I'm fine with that.
King of the Hill: I used to watch this show a lot with one of my college roommates.  It's pretty brilliant and I should probably start watching it again.
Kathy Griffin My Life on the D-List: I love every single thing about Kathy Griffin and all of her shows ... standup comedy shows, her reality series, etc etc etc.  She also has a really great book that I highly highly recommend (I have it if anyone wants to borrow).  I like that Kathy Griffin is hilarious and has such a spunky on point perspective on comedy, but I also really love that she will talk about her personal life too.  Love love love her.  Kathy, your tickets for your live show shouldn't be so expensive.

L~
Ok, I was going to try to act like I really loved some show like Laguna Beach so that I can complete this list, but I really don't like the show.  The end.

M~
Maury: Sometimes I like to watch Maury in the morning if I don't have a lot of work calls.  I, of course, love all of the "Who's the Baby Daddy?!?!" episodes, but Maury has more to offer.  I recently watched the cutest episode ever with cuddly animals (like baby cheetahs and lions) and I always love watching the "My Kid is 800lbs and I Just Don't Get Why!" shows.  Classic tv.
My Strange Addiction: ILOVETHISSHOW!!!!  My favorite episode is DaveCat and his sex doll (why the hell is that his name?  Not a clue) because it's just freaky and wonderful.  So anyways, the show highlights people's strange addictions (shocking, I know) and you can get a good glimpse into the lives of these freaks.  Other favorites include a lady addicted to puppets (yes, puppets) and a girl who eats couch cushions. 
Mama's Family: I used to watch this show with my dad a lot and I probably need to buy the series because it is hilarious. Basically about an old lady and her hick family and all the stupid things they do.
My Big Redneck Wedding: Rednecks.  Getting Married.  Hilarious.  My friend Chelsea Handler will explain.

N~
The Nanny: I used to watch this a lot when I was younger, and recently got back into it (mainly because it is on TV Land in the wee hours of the night when I get home from working at the bar).  If you can get past the annoying voice, it's a really cute show.

O~
The Office:  Duh.

P~
The Price is Right (only when Bob Barker was the host): I watched this when I was in kindergarten, eating my hammich before the bus.  Sadly, this is one of my most vivid memories as a tot.  Apparently my parents sat me in front of the tv a lot.  Anyway, Bob was great and I loved when he was starting to get way too old to be on the show.  And when he had the scandal about hookin up with one of the models.  And I loved when the really excited ghetto ladies would come on the stage and Bob would try to deal with them.  Hilarious.
Planet Earth: It was a HUGE deal when this show came out (and really, no wonder, it's amazing) ... It's soooo interesting and pretty gosh darn fantastic to watch.  And now, people are motivated to create hilarious parody voiceovers of this show (ok, this isn't from Planet Earth, but it's my favorite clip in the series.  Honeybadger don't care, honeybadger doesn't give a shit)
Pawn Stars: Vegas is a pretty great place, but I unfortunately have yet to visit the pawn shop featured in this show.  Picture this: rare, really cool antiquey things that come into the shop to get appraised and sold, a special guy named Chum, and a really old man named (appropriately so) Old Man.  There are two other fellas too that are great, but Chum and Old Man stole the show.

Single and Not At All Ready to Mingle

Hello, readers!  Today I'm taking a break from my list of favorite tv shows (don't worry, I'll get around to finishing it) ... instead I'd like to go down my top 'why it sucks being single' list.

My boyfriend of 3 years and I broke up recently and let me tell you ... it sucked.  It still sucks.  And it'll probably continue to suck, thankfully a little less each day.  I should publicly apologize to all of my ex's for the crapola I likely put them through, because this is romantic karma biting me on the tush.

Anyways, here goes nothin'.  And really, I'm just trying to be funny, not spiteful (for the most part):

1) Now without a boyfriend or a roommate, I can officially declare myself to be a crazy cat lady.  Two cats plus one me minus a significant other = a seriously crazy cat lady.  Help!

2) Sundays used to be a day of rest and spending time with the Ex.  Now my attempts to make the day really busy have made me quite sleepy.  A sleepy Cat Lady is a cranky Cat Lady.

3) If I hear another customer at my bar ask about my relationship status, I'm going to scream.  I'M SINGLE, FOLKS!  And no, that doesn't mean I am available for the taking.  A new favorite line of mine: I'm single and not at all ready to mingle.

4) How do adults date?!  It was easy in college ... I'd be at a frat party, see a guy from my math class, and instantly have something to talk about.  The Ex and I were friends before we started dating and we got together right out of college.  Adult dating, I feel, will be more difficult.  Considering I don't attend frat parties and/or math class.

So there's the list.  I have absolutely the best friends on the planet and I really really love them for being there for me.  Oh, and if you know someone to set up with a crazy cat lady ... give them my digits in about 6 months. 

Favorite TV Shows Part I

Well, I made a little list of all my favorite TV shows of all time and decided to discuss them in depth.  Because I have nothing better to do, and obviously you don't have anything better to do but read:

#~
7th Heaven: That's right, I'm enough of a woman to start off my favorite TV show list with something this cheesy.  And I'm not afraid to admit that I LOVED this show.  And even worse, I was really upset when Fox Family stopped airing it about a year ago.  What terrible acting and what a cheesy, cheesy concept, but it was good quality crap

A~
(That's) Amore!: An amazing sequel to the Shot of Love series with a cutie Italian who was seeking an American lover.  The girls weren't that memorable, but I enjoyed the typical MTV/VH1 "reality" dating plotline.  And the guy on the show was a cutie.

B~
Bethenny Ever After: Again, pretty cheesy, but it's a cute show and Bethenny cracks me up. No, I am not inspired by her work ethic or whatever, I just think it's a cute show.
Best Week Ever: No, I don't really watch the news, but I did love watching this show on VH1 to get updated on my weekly news.  It's basically like the Soup with a bunch of different people commenting on events rather than just Joel and it's on my level in terms of funny.  VH1 better get this show back on the air.
Bridezillas: What an amazing cast of characters.  These bitches are crazy and I love it!  I think it's a requirement for these girls to think they're hotties and be drop dead FUGLY.  Same goes for their weddings.  All of them are ugly.  Ugly girls, ugly personalities, ugly weddings ... and I love it.  This bitch is one of my favorites and this one is pretty great too.

C~
Charm School: A big ol group of hotmess gals from some of the VH1 reality dating shows that attempt to learn to behave.  CLASSIC!!  These girls are hilarious and I reallllly love watching them all together
Cake Boss: I have a huge crush on Buddy from this show and he is just so great at making cakes and hanging out with his really annoying family, and it's just wonderful
Charm City Cakes: Yes, this is a much better cake show.  Because Duff is awesome and it's it Bmore.  Big ups to Bmore.
Chappelle's Show: Who doesn't love this show?  There are like a million quotes from this show, but two of my favorites are piss on you and fuck yo couch

D~
Dinosaurs: Do you remember this show? Ugh, I used to love it!  I used to watch it in the morning with my dad before school and both of us thought it was the best thing since sliced bread
Daisy of Love: Yes, I will absolutely mention all of my favorite reality dating shows, and this one is pretty fantastic.  All the guys looked like adolescent punksters ... literally no one was attractive, and I really loved seeing how cracked out that Daisy character was
Dad Camp: Picture this ... deadbeat baby daddies, hormonal preggo women, and a bunch of challenges to "make the daddies better" ... drama, fighting, bitchy women, immature men ... terrific.

E~
Extreme Makeover: Home Edition: Ok, I know how cheesy this is.  However, this really tugs at my heart strings and I am known to cry when I watch.  The only thing I dislike about the show is that they pull these families who don't have enough $$ to pay for groceries and then ... Poof!  Take off of work for a week!  Poof! Now you're expected to pay double, triple, or more on your energy bill.  Great.  Anyway, if I don't think about that, I really do love the show and it's great to see communities coming out and helping a family in need and whatnot.

F~
Flava of Love: ugh what an AMAZING show!  Seeing that gross man (who also happens to be wonderful) slobber all over those girls ... hilarious.  And the girl who pooped during the elimination ceremony?  Get outta here, that's truly amazing, classic tv.  Flav, I would really appreciate it if you were to have another show.
Four Weddings: I love any show about weddings, but this one is pretty great. Picture this: 4 women go to each other weddings and judge them.  I especially like the episodes in NY or NJ because they usually are a little more caddy and that's always entertaining for me.  Of course it's pretty predictable, as they usually have one super conservative broad and then another crazy hippy, which always results in some shock and caddy comments.  It's great!

I Really Love TV

Happy Monday, readers!  Hope everyone had a wonderful weekend and a fun-filled Mother's Day.  I got to spend the evening at dinner with my parents, brother, and future sister-in-law and had a great time. 

My brother and future sister-in-law came over to my place before dinner, and my brother and I went down the usual list of "are you watching ...?" and "did you see ... last week?" and I realized yet again how very much I love tv.

I have on numerous occasions made a "TV list" outlining when I need to sit my fatass on the couch and watch the important shows.  Below is a list of a few of my current favorites:

• Mob Wives: I didn't watch this week's episode, but who wouldn't love a show highlighting the illegal lifestyles of 4 crazy bitches?  It's amazing.  This show has quite a few of my requirements for good quality tv: drama, bitches, fighting in some form (verbal is good, but physical is more entertaining), and people who in general make me feel better about my own life
• Sister Wives: what an amazing concept!  I genuinely like the family on this show (for those idiots out there who haven't had the opportunity to watch this fantastic show, it's about a polygamist family with one husband and 4 wives and their millions of kids) and I really feel for them when they talk about the stress that they're having due to the illegalities of their lifestyle.  The kids are pretty well rounded and as long as the kids aren't all messed up from it, who the hell cares how these people live their life?  Good for them for coming out with their lifestyle, despite the consequences.  And more importantly, thank you for providing entertaining tv on a Sunday evening.
• Strange Sex: title is pretty much self expanatory: it's about strange sex conditions or circumstances for a bunch of people.  It's great!  Trannies?  Check.  Gals who hurt when they have sex?  Check.  A 36 year old virgin?  Check.  It's great!  Again, this show makes me feel better about my own self.  Another important quality for tv: I love watching shows that are about science or psychology (with a twist of drama and/or 'make me feel good about myself' quality)
• That brings me to another favorite ... Intervention: this show has single-handedly taught me all of the different types of drugs that my customers at the bar are on.  I now know the difference between heroin, coke, and meth addicts!  Thanks, Intervention.  This show just tugs on my heart strings.  I truly want all of the addicts to get better and realize how to cope with their disease.  In the process, I also enjoy watching their hotmess behavior before they get better.
• Teen Mom: ok, let me premise by saying that these girls are all IDIOTS and I personally would like to teach sex ed to all dumbass girls who don't know what birth control is.  Really?  This show has been on for several years and there are still girls on the show who think they "can't" get preggo or don't know what a condom is.  Hello!  Anyway, this brings out my love for all things science, psychology, drama, bitches, fighting (both verbal and physical), and people who make me feel better about my own life. What a terrific combination!  And I truly do feel for some of these dumbasses, despite my wish to not care.
• Real Housewives of ...: I love them all.  Miami was pretty lame, but every other version of this show has been wonderful.  Drama, drama, drama!  Idiots, idiots, idiots!  I really love everything about it!  Ugh, sometimes I just want to reach through the tv screen and strangle these girls.  But then, I wouldn't be able to watch them, so I don't.
• The Soup: there are a few reasons why I love this show ... a) it outlines all of the hilarious shows that either I missed or I want to see again, and b) the host is a hilarious hottie.  Yea, I said it.

Of course there are the obvious shows such as The Office and Grey's Anatomy that I also love.  Grey's was really annoying for awhile, but I'm back into the groove of it because that twerp Meredith isn't as stupid and annoying.  The Office is hilarious always and forever and I'm really depressed that Michael Scott is gone :(

I bet I could make an A-Z list of my favorite shows ... maybe I'll make that a task for later.

Friday

I can't believe I remembered to do this for a second Friday in a row ... maybe my memory is improving (doubtful)

Here's my Fill Up My Heart Friday list for the day:

• I got to see my bestest friend from college, 'Mizz J' last night to celebrate Cinco de Mayo.  We have a running tradition of spending May 5th together ... starting in college with $1 margarita nights (oh how I miss those!), then she came to visit me for the past 2 years.  This year I got to go down to Virginny and spent the evening with my buddy and her hilarious family.  Had the best time ever, and my face still hurts from laughing




Sinko de Mayo


• My coworker, 'Johnny' sent me an email with this lovely picture, with the caption "Happy Cinco de Mayo" yesterday and it cracked me up.
• This Sunday is Mother's Day and I'm going to dinner with my parents, brother, and future sister-in-law.  Cream of crab soup, here I come!!  Oh and I'm excited to spend time with my family too :)
• Saturday is my 4 year anniversary with my company.  I feel old, and I'm pretty proud of myself for sticking it out for 4 years already.  Go me.
• There's a surprise birthday party for one of my really awesome customers tonight.  Hoping to make some much needed $$ and it should be a great time
• I took time off yesterday, and it was pretty great.  Everyone should take a random PTO day, I completely support them

Have a great weekend, kittens!

I Hate PA.

After a rather tiring business trip up to Boston, I pondered something that I often think about while walking through the BWI airport ... the folks who frequent this airport are some of the most unfortunate looking people I have ever come across.  Not to say that Baltimorons are particularly unfortunate looking, I actually consider the Baltimore-Metro area to be full of attractive Joes and Jills.  However, the folks who are in the BWI airport often provide me with some great people-watching and grossout moments.

Here's the ratio that I like to use in terms of all things wonderful/beautiful/successful/intelligent/amazing:
Baltimorons (and Marylanders in general) are alllll the wayyyy up hereeeeee






Other states are down here ...










and PA is alllll the wayyyyyy down hereeeee.



In case you haven't already noticed, I hate PA.  I hate it so much it gives me chills.  The people, their driving, their appearance, their manners, their intelligence (or lack there of), and specifically their stupid ass football team ... piss me off.  A lot.  So thusly, I'm going to blame all of the "beauties" at the BWI airport on PA. 

Now, I have frequented a pretty decent amount of airports due to my career, either as a layover hub, or as a destination.  I'd say the best people watching/ugliest people encountered occurred in Pioria, IL.  In general, those people are poor unfortunate souls.  Very nice people, but holy 1992.

Back to my hatred for PA: I've really pissed off (non-Marylanders) about my distaste/disgust for Pennsyltucky.  If you lived close to PA, you'd understand.  I have friends in VA, and lots of coworkers in MA who just don't get it.  And they wouldn't, unless they were really close to PA and had to suffer through seeing/hearing these disgusting people on a regular basis.  My biggest disgust?  When someone with a PA license plate, driving all messed up on MY highway has a Raven's or an O's sticker on their car.  Get the eff outta here!  Go back to PA, support your stupid team, enjoy your reduced housing taxes, and shut the hell up.

Go Ravens!  Go O's!  Go Bmore!  Go Maryland!  PA sucks.

Poop E. Doop = Stuff or Things

I just talked to my best buddy, Lizzy G, on Skype and thought I'd share one of our favorite stories with readers.

Let me preface by saying that there are plenty of things out there that Lizzy G and I find to be quite normal until we tell others ... then we realize how weird we are.  Case in point: my cat's names.  I never thought that Carlton Banks or Mustacho were out of the ordinary ... until I had to tell the vet and friends/family.  It never really occurred to me that I'd be telling people the names of my kitty babies.  Oh well.  Apparently people prefer the names Fluffy and Kitty or something equally uncreative.

Anyways, when Lizzy G and I first lived in downtown Baltimore, we were trying to think of a good wireless network name.  Suddenly, it came to us: Poop E. Doop!  Of course!  Our favorite thing to say ... how could we not make this our wireless name?  Again, we thought nothing of this, until I had to get my computer worked on for work and someone dialed in remotely ... and "Wireless Connection: Poop E. Doop" appeared on my screen.  Oops, embarrassing. 

Lizzy G and I carried on the Poop E. Doop tradition in our second apartment together, and I have the same name here living on my own.  My future sister-in-law tried to use her laptop last weekend and needed the wireless network name ... embarrassing again.  I guess it's worth the few embarrassing times, because it always cracks me up when I see my network name.  I just got a new phone this weekend and it pops up on my screen: AT&T- Poop E. Doop.  Very refreshing to see. 

So, here's the Poop E. Doop story.  And if you don't think the name Poop E. Doop is funny, then you need to step it up and get on my level.

Lizzy G and I worked for a promotional company over the summer when we were in college, and one campaign we were promoting was a mortgage company.  We basically had to get people to sign up for this sweepstakes that paid off someone's mortgage at the end of the summer, in exchange for a lot of personal information.  Anyways, we did this at a lot of the O's games, which was a blast because, if you're from Bmore, you know that O's fans like to get pretty wasted.  We had a protocol for how many of these information cards we had to fill out by the end of an evening, and normally ended up creating a few of our own to make the #s. 

One evening, after getting tired of all the John Smiths and Joe Schmoes, I decided to fill in a card for a character I created named Poop E. Doop (and if you say the name outloud, you always have to say Poop E period Doop).  Of course, Lizzy G and I thought this was so absurdly hilarious that we started using the name in everyday life (this was long before my wireless network name).  Instead of using the boring words "stuff" or "things," we would say Poop E. Doop.  Ex: "Just take that bag of Poop E. Doop to the trash" or "Would you mind getting your Poop E. Doop out of my sight?"  Hilarious.  Feel free to use the term.