While at dinner with my brother and his fiancee (who is from New England, but raised by parents who wanted their children to speak with a neutral accent), we discussed my (ever so slight) Baltimoron accent. Before I continue, I must stress that we are not called Baltimorians, but rather Baltimorons. Yes, I get it, and yes that's why I prefer it.
Anyways, we went down the list of words that I say to see how my dear brother pronounces them. I discovered after attending last week's bridal shower with his fiancee's family that I apparently have a thick accent and my dear brother has none. I simply responded that he chooses to deny his heritage.
The conversation went as such:
Me: How do you say ... H20?
Brother: Water. How do you say it?
Me: Wooder. How do you say the body of water?
Brother: What?
Me: Ya know, Atlantic (blank), Pacific (blank)
Brother: Oh, ocean. How do you say it?
Me: Oohhshan.
::Pause::
Brother: Seriously? Go on.
Me: Ok, how do you say the crustacians we eat?
Brother: Uhh crabs.
Me: Craaahbs.
Brother: Oh shit, please tell me you don't call people 'hon'
Me: Uhh about that ...
Future Sister: Ohh! You say 'no' weird too!
Me: Nooee ... damn. Ok, what about the name of the city I used to live in?
Brother: BalTimore?
Me: Seriously?! You pronounce the T? Get the hell out of here.
Brother: Ok, more like Baltimore.
Me: Balmore? I'd even accent BalDmore, but the T? That's out of line.
Brother: So I'm assuming you call the state "Merrland"
Me: You bet your britches. And you would too if you didn't think you were better n' me.
After reviewing the typical Marylander/Baltimoron words, my brother offered a theory:
Brother: You say those things because you went to public school
(in case you can't tell, he went to private)
Conclusion? Baltimorons are awesome. And my brother is a snob who denies his heritage. Just wait til he has kids and Aunty Cat Lady gets aholda dem. My little Baltimorons ... I can see it now.
Peace out, Hons.
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