Saturday, December 24, 2011

Merry Christmas, Ya'll!

Merry Christmas, my little blogger kittens (all 3 of you!)

First of all, let's remember the reason for the season. Christ was born for us and all that, and I am totally appreciative.  Thanks little baby Jesus!

Anyways, after preparing a Christmas Eve dinner (originally planned for my grandmom and parents and I), that only consisted of the strained relationship that is my parents and I ... I am a little (read: pretty goshdarn) drunk, and quite thoughtful.

As kids, my big brother (whom I call "Bubs") and I used to always engage in viewing our very favorite film, A Christmas Carol (old skool 1951 version) with our dad.  My dad always would say the same commentary, at the exact same moment; but that was part of the sheer joy of watching with him.  We always would go to mass, had a huge Christmas Eve dinner with our beloved grandparents, and then would watch our movie.  As a family with very few traditions, we took our movie as a sacred act.  I bought a copy of the movie for my brother, dad, and myself ... just in case.  My amazing, hilarious, chivalrous, old skool, flamboyant grandadddy who used to watch with us has since passed, but we still have to carry on his memory with stories of his old days. 
Side note: Puppy, I miss the crap out of you ... I love thinking about our stories together and I genuinely know that Bubs and I were your favorite grandkids (honestly, no freakin competition) ... but I hate smelling B&B when we drink in your honor.  Why couldn't you just like wine, cranberry and vodka, or something with a little sweet in it or something else?  Anyways, you were the best damn grandaddy in the entire world and I miss you every damn day.  You are my hero and the reason why it is impossible to find a man "worthy" of my love (and the like)
Anyways, back to present day: my big brother went off and got married.  He isn't spending the holidays with us, which I understand ... but am totally bummed about.  He and his bride (my dear sister-in-law, A.) make a huge effort to chat with us on Skype (which absolutely BOGGLES my parents, whom are exceptionally technology impaired) on holidays ... but it just isn't the same.  I genuinely miss my big brother watching that stupid traditional Christmas movie.  And I really miss having him as my date to midnight mass at our old church.  I hate being the only drunk member of our family attending midnight mass.  Don't worry, we're Catholic, so I'm one of about 300 in the congregation who are inebriated.

Anyways, I was just thinking about how much I miss my big bro and about the old traditions of my years past.  Additionally, I think about a text that I sent to my bestest friend growing up, Hillwee:
Dear Santa,
Please don't "bless" me with more idiot friends who are engaged this holiday season, for the fear that I will vomit.
Not to say that engagements aren't lovely.  Some of my very best friends are married and/or engaged.  But come onnnnn!  Way to hit me when I'm down!  What with not having a date to watch an old skool Xmas movie and go to mass with (ie: my brother)

Am I that pathetic?  Yes.  Do I care?  A little.

Merry Christmas to everyone.  And I'm serious about remembering the reason for the season.  Little baby Jesus is the shiz (in all seriousness) who was born for our sins.  And I have a lot.  Thanks, little baby Jesus. 

Merry Christmas!! And as of December 26, happy birthday to the best friend ever, Miss Lauren C ... Christmas and your birthday are two separate holidays.  I am just too lazy to discuss both.  But I love you almost as much as little baby Jesus.  Which means a lot.

Cat Lady, Carlton, and Mustacho (who were locked in my bedroom for 4 hours this afternoon so that my parents and I could enjoy our Christmas Eve dinner)

Friday, December 16, 2011


Happy Friday, ya'll!  I'm all geared up for a busy day/night ... for some reason I thought it would be brilliant to have most of my stress-packed, busy, important meetings on Fridays.  Specifically one at 9am and one at 2pm (with many between).  Stupid me.

Anywaysss, there are other reasons for an extra busy day/night ... tonight is the annual pot luck Christmas party at my bar.  Always a blast, always full of my favorite drunks.  In prep for the bar party, I also need to do a little cooking.  Per one of my favorite customer's request (featured in my Dear Bargirl ... post), I will be making deviled eggs, as well as cornbread and mac and cheese. 

Unfortunately, I got a little drunk last night at karaoke (a hilarious experience, and no I did not sing) and decided to take a drunken trip to Walmart to get some groceries (read: snacks).  The random items in my cart included: vinegar, buttermilk, 2 frozen dinners, Cool Ranch Doritos, ice cream, and 2 doughnuts that I insisted on punching holes in to assure that they had cream in the middle ... Unfortunately, I forgot the eggs that I desperately needed for said deviled eggs, mac and cheese, and cornbread.  Oops.  So, I'll be taking a little trip to the local store to get some eggs.  Which, side note, I like to call eggels.

Tonight should be a blast, so if you're in the middle of nowhere, Baltimore County, please stop by for some fun!

Here's a little listy of what fills my heart up today:
  • Kitcats, obviously.
  • My bonus came in yesterday (2 weeks early, woohoo!), so I can finally buy the last of my Christmas presents
  • I have some PTO coming up, which makes me super dooper happy.  No huge plans, just a lot of relaxation and getting random stuff done around the house
  • The holiday "get together" (read: drunkfest) up in my corp office is next week ... looking forward to seeing my work buddies and getting some work done up there
  • I went to a new psychic a few days ago and she was spot on ... very insightful and gave me a different view on a few things.  If you haven't checked out a psychic before, I highly recommend it
I'm off to finish up some meetings, get some eggs, and cook before heading into one of the jolliest drunkfests of the year


Monday, December 12, 2011

New Fav Quote

As I was catching up on some of my DVR-d shows on the couch with Carlton and Mustacho, I came across Kourtney and Kim Take New York.  Of course I was excited to catch up on the going-ons of my favorite huge assed bitches, so i cuddled a little closer to the cats and hunkered down.

Towards the end of the show, Scott announced my favorite quote of all time, ever:

"I think my new fantasy would be to get a really really really big big tv and a really comfortable couch and just start eating and eating and eating and eating"

Hilarious!  Scott, my advice is that you ditch the snitch and hop on the Catlady train, because I can and will fulfill that fantasy.  Sigh.  Ooo dreammmm weaverrrrr

I Wanna Quit the Gym!

I'm ashamed to admit how much money I've spent in the past year paying for a gym membership that I rarely use.  However, the time has come to quit the gym. 

Is it horrible that the only thing I can think of when I consider calling up Brick Bodies and telling them that "I wanna quit the gym!!" is the Friends episode?

My yearly contract is up and I am more than ready to save the $40 a month.  What shall I spend it on?  Chocolate?  Tubs o lard?  Pants in bigger sizes?

Wish me luck!

Friday, December 9, 2011


Happy Friday, Ya'll!  Gonna try to keep it short and sweet cuz I have a busy day with both jobs ...  here's what I'm oh so thankful for today:
  • Mustacho, who is currently sitting on my lap (and keeping me warm!) and Carlton who is drinking from his water bowl super loud--they are the cutest little critters ever
  • I finally turned on the heat a few days ago and it feels marvelous!!  Ugh, heat, I love you.  Gas and electric bill, I don't wanna talk about it.
  • After a lot of stress, hard work, and a few tears ... my client should be ready for a re-training after last week's fiasco.  Thanks for the support, ya'll!
  • Last night, I got to have dinner and go bowling with some of my very favorite people, Pumpkin/Squash and Mr. and Mrs. Lauren C.  My head and tummy are not too excited about working this morning, but I had a blast.  My apologies to the 6 people left in the bowling ally by the end of the night who had to witness a) my singing and dancing to PYT, b) my little fall while trying to bowl (those allies really are slick!!), and c) my loud mouth screaming about how terrific (read: horrible) I am at bowling.  Basically, I had a blast.  The end.
  • I have most of my Christmas shopping complete, as well as about 3/4 of my Christmas cards written.  Just have to find some dough to be able to complete the shopping list and we're golden ...
  • I have 11 (yes, 11!!!) PTO days left until the end of the year ... unfortunately, I don't have a career where I can easily pull off taking 11 of the next 14 working days off, but I do plan to take a few days here and there.  Yesterday, for example, I took off 3 hours to nap, shop, and generally relax.  I plan to be doing a lot more of that cuz it was divine.
Happy Friday to one and all!

Monday, December 5, 2011

Gross Me the Frick Out

Did anyone catch this lovely show on TLC?!?!  It's a little diddy titled The Virgin Diaries.  And yes, this couple shared their first kiss (among other things) on their wedding day.  He was 31, she 27.  And he expressed how weird it was to kiss his wife and how "unnatural" it felt. 

You seriously can't make this shit up.  And I love it.  TLC, I need more!

Friday, December 2, 2011

Hell Hath No Fury ...

Guys and gals, I have had quite the difficult week, work-wise.  To avoid boring details, basically I just had a coworker majorly screw over a big client of mine and made every effort possible to pass the blame off on everyone but himself. 

I work from home and I love the ability to work in this little bubble and not worry much about office politics.  I have some fantastic coworkers that I absolutely thank my lucky stars for, and whom I genuinely enjoy seeing every few weeks when I head up to the corporate office.

This one coworker in particular and I have never really been the best of buddies.  I quickly saw though his decent looks and his cocky demeanor, even as an intern.  We used to work together, solo, a lot and I hated him with a passion.  Anytime something wasn't done properly on his end, the blame would be placed on me.  Anytime he missed the buck on something, it was my issues to resolve.

I am not the type of person who demands or even really cares about praise.  If I'm doing my job right, then the only praise that I need is the satisfaction that I am doing my job.  I don't need someone to waste their time patting me on the back; just let me do my job well, and you work on doing the same.

Anyways, back to the issue at hand ... Dickweed Coworker (as I will now be referring to him as) really put things in a funk with my client and I have been livid about it for weeks.  Starting on Wednesday, I realized how majorly he screwed over my client, which of course set me into a tizzy.  I have been spending the past 3 days putting this fire out and trying to control my rage.

Which brings us to the convo I had with my dear friend, Mizz J regarding why I've been having a bad few days.  My response?

"Hell hath no fury like a (Catlady) who's clients have been fucked with by an asshole coworker"

And with that ... happy Friday!

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Chelsea Handler's View on Cats

As I traveled from Baltimore to Boston and back in a matter of 12 hours, I was able to re-read one of my favorite easy reads, Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang by the hilarious Chelsea Handler.  I have known from past experience not to read her books in public (specifically ones I've already read before), as they often cause me to burst into laughter at inappropirate times and in inappropriate places.

Some of you may be aware of my "healthy" love for our feline friends.  However, even I think that Ms. Handler's hatred for kitties is hilarious:
"It doesn't matter if it's an outdoor cat.  It will still take a shadoobie in the backyard and walk right back in the house all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, like 'Hey, what'd I miss?'  I'll tell you what you missed, you cat, you missed wiping your ass!" ("Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang" Chelsea Handler page 22)
Funny stuff, I tell ya.  Not funny when I spit out my Coke Zero on the plane after reading it, but still funny anyway.  Thanks Chelsea.